Category: Questions for Kaden

Kaden,

I am having trouble staying motivated when working from home. How can I keep focused?

-a work from home girl

Hi! I think this has been a struggle for a lot of people working from home. My biggest piece of advice would be to find a routine. You don’t have to wear business clothes to your couch every day but change into a clean set of sweats. Wake up and get ready. Stick to a schedule. Take breaks when you can and try to get outside. Go on a walk or a drive during your lunch break or at the end of the day.

I grew into the habit of taking a drive for a Sonic drink the first semester that was fully online. I found myself needing social interaction and fresh space. An alternative was walking to check the mail or driving through the carwash.

I think it is important to stay on task and create a schedule, but it is also important to step outside for fresh air. This might even look like working from your patio.

Whatever works for you, make sure to stick to a schedule and schedule in time to step outside during your lunch or to signal the end of your day.

-KP

Kaden,

My friend recently started dating a new guy but I’m not a fan. He’s just not a good fit for her. Do I say something?

– a worried friend

Hi! This is such a tricky question. I suppose the answer might come from asking you a few questions. Why do you think he isn’t a good fit for your friend? Is he holding her back in any way? Is he a threat to her safety? Or… is he just annoying?

If you don’t like him because he poses any sort of threat to her physical safety, that is a different conversation and I urge you to seek help from others.

If you don’t like him because you think he isn’t a good fit, I think you have a few options. First, you need to evaluate why you think he isn’t a good fit. Do you think his values don’t line up with your friend’s values? Does he not make time or respect her? Are there obvious red flags?

Think about it and whatever reason(s) you think he isn’t a good fit, share those with your friend. This doesn’t have to be an intervention. Simply mention it in conversation. This next part is crucial though… pay attention to how she reacts. If she agrees but is hesitant to leave then talk that through with her. BUT if she has blinders and is not bothered by your concerns, then all you can do is mention it and let it go. If she knows how you feel and chooses to stay with him, that is on her. Anything more would just be annoying on your end.

And then there is the third scenario. Maybe he is a good fit for her but you just find him annoying. He gives you the ick. Maybe he has a weird voice or takes a lot of mirror selfies or is a messy eater. Whatever it is about him that just isn’t it is not actually holding her back in any way. In this case, I think it is best to just let your friend figure it out. You might joke about these weird things he does if you and your friend are close enough, but if he has similar values and is challenging your friend to be a better person in all the right ways, then maybe his mirror selfies aren’t so bad.

At the end of the day, there are so many variables for this situation. It is up to you to determine the best route to take though. As long as your friend’s safety isn’t at risk, then I think there is a fine line between letting her know what you think and not being supportive. As a friend, you should be able to communicate your thoughts and worries but also allow your friend room to make decisions.

best of luck! KP

Kaden,

I recently graduated college and have no clue what I am doing. I feel like I got a degree that limits my opportunites and I need to start working soon.

– a recent college grad

Hi! I just graduated from college last month and understand the stress of life post-graduation. You feel a lot of pressure from people around you to find a job and start working quickly. In addition, you may be moving or trying to choose a place to live. The security that college provided through consistency is ripped away after you cross the stage and receive your diploma.

The job market is rough right now too. It seems that it is oversaturated with applicants that are overqualified and soon to be underpaid.

I think the first thing to do is make sure your resume is up to date and you have a go-to interview outfit. Then start applying for anything and everything that interests you. Having a college degree will give you an advantage in some job applications. Now, do I think you will have much luck applying to NASA with a degree in theater? No. (no hate to theater majors btw.. it is just two very different realms).

I think if you join LinkedIn and Indeed (or whatever sites are commonly used in your area) then you might have some luck. Truthfully though, so much of your luck is going to come from putting yourself out there. Ask around. Post in local Facebook groups. Ask your profs and peers. Ask people in the field you are pursuing. I have noticed that the more you tell people you are searching for a job in xyz field then the more likely you are to come across somebody that knows something or somebody.

At the end of the day though, it is still hard, so try to go easy on yourself. Keep hustling and it will work out eventually.

good luck!! KP