q4k: becoming that girl


I keep seeing tik toks about becoming that girl. I want to become that girl.. but I don’t know how. Any advice?

– a tik tokker

There has been quite the phenomenon with becoming that girl recently, mostly thanks to Tik Tok. There is a large trend to share videos of yourself doing things to better yourself. Such videos consist of girls waking up at 5am, drinking smoothies, working out, painting their nails, reading, journaling, grocery shopping, and other activities of the sort. The videos depict girls that seem to have their life together and inspire viewers to want to be that girl, quite literally. Thus, girls who consistently do these things are called that girl.

Anyways, now that the clarification is out of the way, let’s talk about becoming that girl. I love the idea and if I am being totally transparent have even found myself aiming to be that girl. I think there are large benefits for personal growth and development. I have this idea in my head that I will both have my life more together and appear more put together if I do these things. I think it is great, but there is one thing that I think you should consider if you want to spend your time becoming that girl; why are you doing these things?

Is it for social media or to better yourself? There is absolutely nothing wrong with documenting it for social media (hello! Hi, that’s me). BUT… I think that your motivation should have less to do with others and more for yourself. Are you journaling for your mental health? Are you working out for your physical health? Are you grocery shopping and coordinating your produce into picture-perfect bins because it makes you happy or it makes your followers happy?

Once you get past that, becoming that girl is fairly easy. You just need to envision what YOU actually want to do. In an ideal world, what would your best self look like? What is standing between yourself and that ideal version of yourself? The steps between you and who you want to be are the action steps you need to be focused on and they will concurrently result in you becoming that girl.. becoming that girl that is focused on goals and has ambition. Because let’s face it.. the root of being that girl is actually just somebody that hustles to accomplish a lot.

good luck! KP

q4k: my friend doesn’t like my boyfriend


I have been dating the same guy for several months now, but my friend thinks I can do better. We are really close and she is usually pretty wise, but it is still frustrating.

– a frustrated friend

This is such a tricky situation. I wrote last week to somebody that wrote about how they don’t like their friend’s boyfriend and asked for advice. One of the challenging aspects of dating is that anybody you date is a representation of yourself whether you want them to be or not. Anybody that you date is inadvertently an extension of yourself. This only further contributes to the stress of the situation. As the friend in this situation, it can be frustrating that your friend does not view the situation the same way; but as the friend with the boyfriend, it can be incredibly challenging to have a friend not like your significant other.

The additional element to this problem is that the response you take is going to vary by your personality. My best bet is to give advice based on what I would do in this situation, but please understand that there is no cookie-cutter, right or wrong answer… thus why it is such a conundrum.

If it were me though, I would evaluate what I think my friend’s motives in not liking my boyfriend might be. If I feel that they have my best interest at heart and want the best for me, I would have an honest conversation asking them why they aren’t a fan. The problem with this approach is that it is incredibly direct and while I have a more direct personality, this might not be the approach for everybody. My take on it though is that if you are really close to this friend, you should be able to go to them and ask for their honest thoughts and it not impact your friendship.

Then.. take that advice and sit with it. Imagine if the roles were reversed how you would feel. If this is a close friend that knows you well, there is likely a reason they are not a fan.

So.. ultimately my advice is communication. Communicate with your friend. And while I am not saying that your friend is always right because each individual situation is incredibly different, true friends are worth listening to and considering their opinions, even if you still do not agree in the end. You don’t have to take their advice (or mine either for that matter) but my advice would be to have a real and honest conversation with your friend, think about it, and make a decision with all of the information you have.

And one last piece of advice- never have regrets for a decision you made. If you made a certain decision then you chose that decision as the best option based on the information you had at the time, so live intentionally yet free.

ps. I would also advise your friend read my advice for friends who don’t like their friend’s boyfriend HERE 🙂

xo KP

q4k: creating a capsule wardrobe


I keep seeing capsule wardrobes on instagram and am considering building one, but don’t totally understand how they work.

– a fashionista who wants a change

I recently created a capsule wardrobe this summer and I love it. I have talked about this over on The Daily Kaden Instagram some, but it is great because I absolutely love the convenience of a capsule wardrobe.

I think it is important to first understand what a capsule wardrobe is. Sustainably Chic defined it great:

“A capsule wardrobe is a limited selection of interchangeable clothing pieces that complement each other. These are often classic pieces that do not go out of style and are primarily composed of neutral colors. A capsule wardrobe allows you to create a variety of different outfits with a small selection of clothes.”

I had been intrigued by the idea for years but opposed to it because it seemed so limiting. The truth of a capsule wardrobe is that it is the exact opposite of limiting. The convenience stems from everything matching and interchanging so well and every piece being a piece of clothing that you absolutely loves. That means that there are no clothes in the capsule wardrobe that don’t fit or you don’t like. You only keep clothes that you actually wear.

How many mornings have you spent changing clothes back and forth and just not liking the way a certain blouse or dress fits and changing out of it but still keeping it because you’re supposed to like it.

It is also much easier to shop. A majority of my clothes are in black and gray or pink color schemes, so I automatically gravitate towards those colors in stores.

While a capsule wardrobe is not for everybody, it is a great way to save space, time, and money.

Also- I would like to note that often capsule wardrobes give off the impression that you can only have five shirts and two skirts and three pairs of pants. This is not a hard and fast rule though. I definitely do not limit myself to a certain number of pieces of clothing. In fact, I still have a full closet but it is full of pieces that coordinate and that I actually love.

Have fun building your capsule wardrobe! KP